Jogging fanatic and drum & bass/ electro star John B contacted IHOUSEU following last week’s story about a jogger being eaten by wolves and revealed that he’s sometimes frightened of being stalked when he runs around the wilds of Berkshire.
“We are actually rumoured to have a 'Beast of Maidenhead' round here - you know like a big cat or something,” John revealed.
“My area is pretty posh and there used to be a big decadent 80s club here, called Skindles, which I think was also called Calle Valbonnes back in the day, it was by the river,” he digressed.
“Anyway, lots of posh 80s types used to go there, exactly the types who could well have had a pet puma at home to be cool but let it run free when they realized what a handful it was to look after. I’ve never seen it but if you’re running with your Ipod on you have no idea what could be stalking you up from behind you he pointed out.”
The Top 100 DJ’s failure to meet his local beast could be fortunate, according to local website BerkshireHistory.com which reveals that numerous ghostly apparitions have been spotted in the area such as ‘friendly’ spirit called Bob at the Hobgoblin pub. However, just 15 miles away from John’s Maidenhead manor in Wokingham, headless soldiers and a lady on a white horse, have been encountered and a beast suspected to be far worse than a posh person’s puma.
“A large black animal, probably the ubiquitous ‘Black Dog,’ has been seen lurking along the high brick wall on the same road (Markham Rd) by at least one pair of motorists,” the history portal reported. “It was not the creature that was so bizarre, rather the sense of terror which came over both of them at the same instant.”
John B revealed he’s already cautious of dogs generally.
“There are some lovely big parks around where I live, but I do actually avoid running on my own, specifically because of dogs. I’ve been chased a few times, and owners don’t seem to give a fuck,” he said.
“And of course the other reason I don’t run alone is because I don’t want to look like a bad stalker guy myself cos’ it would probably scare old ladies or whatever.”
“What I love doing when jogging is listening to music, specifically trance compilations. It’s like I’m having my own private rave - the running replaces the dancing and you get to listen to exactly what you want, and do it on your own with no drunken people bumping into you, burning u with cigarettes, commenting on your make-up. Rave jogging is the way forward. In fact, worth braving death by beast for.”
“And as for your story last week about flunning (joggers flirting and meet partners) no-one tries to chat me up when I’m jogging ‘cos I’m too fast,” he boasted.
“But I usually get people coming up to me when I’m out on the town that have seen me out on an epic run. It makes my hair go extra funny,” he laughed.
Twittering about being in Miami to spin at six gigs at this week’s Winter Music Conference, he also squeezed in a couple of postings about running 9 minute miles and (figuratively) kicking sand in random Americans’ faces.
“Time for my evening run along the boardwalk,” he posted, “Dodging fatties, tourists and the occasional big boobied rollerblading plastic surgery disasters.”
http://tinyurl.com/yku72dz (John B in Miami)
http://tinyurl.com/yeel5r9 (Berkshire ghosts)
http://socyberty.com/folklore/the-black-dogs-of-death/ (‘Many Black Dog encounters are incredibly horrifying experiences and/or harbingers of tragedy – an omen of either the death of the witness themselves, the death of a loved one, or a great personal loss . . .’)
Jonty Skrufff (http://skrufff.com): Follow Jonty on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/jontyskrufff
Terms & Conditions• Privacy Statement• Accessibility Policy• Purchase Policy• IHOUSEU 2012 All Rights Reserved
